3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
