Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
