so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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