I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
