Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
