let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
We have started to decorate penises.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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