i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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