My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
