You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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