Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
