I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I love you. Go after that dick
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
