Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
