Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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