yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
