i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
