That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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