To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
How external is "for external use only"?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
