would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
