Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
apparently the secret to your success is patron
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Im part way to drunk.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
