So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
