so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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