Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
