ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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