i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
