Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
