I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
