Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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