He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Randomize
