I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
