I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
