she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize