Well apparently he's into motor boating.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
