Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
