she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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