i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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