...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
