She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
