Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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