Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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