so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
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