last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
