do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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