i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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