I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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