If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
