Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
it glows. i had to have it.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
