so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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