recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
