HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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