You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
