I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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