I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Randomize
