I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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